Simply connecting to the essence

I was with a friend yesterday who gave me some feedback on my blog (he’s a trainer – he gives feedback for a living!). He said that most of what I write is so simple. Really! I had never thought about it before, but I suppose it is, because when I think about it, I like to get down to the ESSENCE of things. And isn’t the essence of things the thing that really matters?

For example, the other day I was  having lunch with my business partner and one of our collaborators and we were talking about soft skills training and dealing with people. My business partner had previously lent me a book about transactional analysis which to tell you the truth bored me stiff, needless to say, I didn’t finish reading it.  The three of us discussed the merits of having tools to be able to analyse people etc.  (my business partner is very left brain – we have interesting conversations that challenge each of us). And I’m thinking, why all this complexity and theory and fancy names for something which is so SIMPLE and OBVIOUS – isn’t it just about  connecting with other people? Do we really need tons of theory dressed up with fancy words to do this? Well, I acknowledge that perhaps those people who have very rational, analytical personalities do, which is fine, the world is all the more interesting for its diversity.


Think about it, when we are really connected with someone, something, a task we’re doing or whatever, have we previously stopped and analysed it first? I would say no.

Take sales for example; it’s common knowledge that most purchasing decisions are made from an emotional stance and are AFTERWARDS rationalised by the buyer. In complex b2b sales, it’s the relationship based on trust and liking which prompts the client to buy from one supplier instead of another. It’s about connection.

And let’s go deeper… when we feel and experience connection, it feels so good! When we really look at a pure, vibrant green leaf,  when we see the joyous smile of a baby, when we really listen to someone talking and see the light in their eyes, how satisfying does that all feel? It feels exhilerating. It feels exhilarating because it’s about connecting from the heart, a place that is infinitely more wise than the brain.

Yet our brain (where our ego is based) likes to be the protagonist, to assert itself and it’s position in our lives. From being children, we’re trained to use our brain, think problems through, analyse situations to weigh up the pros and cons and make decisions etc. – until we grow up and realise that there may be a quicker and richer way to understand things.

In essence what am I saying? I’m saying let’s keep life simple, let’s not overcomplicate things. And how can we do that? By simply connecting with your heart. Always. (Or at least as much as you can!)



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