As a coach, trained to ask powerful questions I have no doubt of just that – that questions are by definition powerful.
I had lunch with a friend the other day who is feeling uncertain about her professional future and wanted to chew things over (as well as the lunch) with me. I gently slid into coach mode and she got clarity very quickly. It made me realise that when we speak to our friends and family they automatically start giving us advice and we often come away not feeling any clearer about our issue because WE haven’t taken responsibility to decide our actions, we’ve just listened to what THEY would do.
Where there is confusion, clarity is waiting to be discovered. That is the purpose of the confusion.
Those of you who regularly read my blog will know that I ‘m in the middle of big change – selling my shares in my language school to join a business coaching/consultancy company. Feelings of doubt inevitably followed my initial feelings of excitement. How did I get through that confusion? – By asking myself some very powerful questions.
- Do I think I can do it?
- What evidence do I have to suggest I can do it?
- What is the worst that can happen if it doesn’t work out?
- What would my life look like if I stayed?
- What could my life look like if I moved?
- What do I really want?
- How does this project give me what I want?
- How does it support and enhance my values?
And most importantly –
- How do I feel when I ask and answer all these questions?
Effective questioning is like peeling away the layers of an onion. Each honest answer to each powerful question brings a new awareness and moves us forward to the big answer. And if we are quiet enough to listen and interpret our feelings, we will be guided towards our destiny. We cannot resist what the experiences our life are causing us to be. Many people try to resist because of fear of change and the pressure of family and peer opinion. It is resistence which causes stress and which ultimately causes dis-ease in our bodies.
So – what questions are waiting to be asked to take you from confusion to clarity?